We have had several sets of friends visit for a day or two in the last two months. We pick up where we left off. Time stands still. The feeling when we meet is a joy and a lightness, the reconnection of two dots on the line graph of time, but the dots seem so close together, like waking from a deep sleep. We have not witnessed the passing of time. Do you know what I mean? The casual banter and homey feeling doesn’t leave over time. Sure, events and age show through, but the connection did not dim. How so?
When people visit, they risk being de-hospitable-ized which means “to become a burden”. Old friends visiting a burden? Feels like an honor, not a burden. Do you feel that connection with the desk clerk at the Marriott or the receptionist at the doctor? Of course not. They look up, but have no recognition. They do not have a life experience with you. They won’t recognize you in a week. They are paid to make you feel welcomed. What kind of a welcome is that? The de-hospitable-izing effect is known when you wait in silence for them, or wait for them to tell you what to do. We are a burden to be passed off.
We welcome our friends into our lives as if they have never left. We anticipate the joy of having this friend in the same room, face-to-face, again. We enjoy preparing a room and a meal. Yesterday, I enjoyed sharing swimming techniques, food and a couple hours of probing some spiritual depth in my friend Dave. Last night and this morning we shared our cell groups, breakfast and some stories about how we all met, fell in love, and took a post-wedding drive to Lake Michigan.
Hospitality goes both ways here. Our friends have to tell us they are coming through or want to see us. I am honored they want this connection. Today, I am thankful for friends with whom I can experience the phenomenon of Time Standing Still.
Thank you Dave and Sue, Jordan and Laura, Gary and Jane, Alan and Mary, Eric and Jen, Grandma Marge and Eddie…and…Ralph and Mrt, Christine Freed, Joel, Kayla, Nathan’s friends, Ellen’s friends, and on and on and on!
