You Can’t Go Back There

Going back to somewhere I’ve lived or worked in the past feels like entering the twilight zone.

I just got back from visiting my two internships. It was great to see everyone, but life has moved on. If each place was a moving walkway, a “travelator,” like those found in an airport, everyone else had moved forward. I tried to get on where I got off, but no one was there.

I tried to go back to see old teachers in High School once. I didn’t fit. The teachers were busy, and I was an interruption. It’s disruptive to their schedule.

I’ve been back to churches where I was on staff. Same feeling. Great people. Great welcomes. Totally different feel. Twilight Zone?

Is this like a cross cultural feeling? When I go to Belarus I am out-of-place, but with friends. The daily “every-day-ness” is unfamiliar. People try to fit me into a friend, foe, or foreigner, but I’m fighting that feeling I just don’t belong.

I’ve walked into churches and felt welcomed but out-of-place. It’s that “cross-cultural feeling.”

What is this feeling? Is it just me? Can we ever go “back there”?

I’ve gone back to my alma mater for visits and football games, but I don’t feel out-of-place there. I’m not intruding. I’m not getting on a treadmill. Why is it different?

I go back to Rhonda’s home church in Muskegon once a year. Though, some of her childhood acquaintances have moved or died, before and after worship feels like a homecoming. The travelator may have moved, but people’s welcome us and give us a space where they are on the travelator.

Spiritual lessons are all in this feeling.

God lives in the present. He never moves down the “travelator” without us.

Our support group, the church, really needs to work hard at giving people a spot on the “travelator”. How?

• Turning toward people.
• Using names.
• Showing great cheer when we see someone come in.
• Asking questions.
• Listening.
• Inviting to “break bread” together.

I am praying for more of this to happen in every church.  We’re going to need each other more and more as the political stew heats up around us, and we find ourselves pushed further to the margins. Hospitality, I think, is the word I’ve been looking for!

Romans 12:13

Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Romans 16:23

Gaius, whose hospitality I and the whole church here enjoy, sends you his greetings. Erastus, who is the city’s director of public works, and our brother Quartus send you their greetings.

1 Timothy 5:10

and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

Hebrews 13:2

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

1 Peter 4:9

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

3 John 1:8

We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth.

Recent Love Developments

Being in love is a very good feeling. I think it is from God. I see love’s great feelings from page one in the Bible. First, God: “and it was good…and it was VERY good!” He was “in love” with his creation. Then, Adam exclaimed when he saw Eve, ‘bone of my bone!’”

Now that I have kids of my own, I get to watch them navigate the reefs and rocks of that exceptionally powerful feeling. I’ve explained so often to them that “in love” is really “in lust” and as a biologist, I know that hormones have shot through their bodies. Romance is all about hormones, but it’s good, and wonderful, and causes couples to shout, “bone of my bone!” You get the picture!

So, when my kids are in that mix I think back to what have Rhonda and I done to prepare them for what could be “hormonal hell.”

From a young age we did not encourage our kids to pair off with little boyfriends or girlfriend (we have one boy). Instead, we taught that they should have lots of friends and that marriage is sacred, special, and very difficult. The epitome of our children’s future wasn’t getting married, having sex, or having children. We tried to reinforce other lofty goals such as having a real relationship with God, college, many friends, and blessing others. Rhonda and I modeled the fact that marriage is sacred and modeled its difficulties all too often.

We did not encourage dating. Dating according to Donald Joy from Asbury Seminary is a ritual destined for hormonal excitement and heightened transference and unrealistic expectations. We asked our girls to read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” by Josh Harris. While reading they discovered that dating is pretty selfish, and love is best defined by 1 Corinthians 13. We encouraged having male friends who were “healthy” not just “Christian” because we knew that “Christian” doesn’t always relate to “healthy.”

When the Prom came around for our oldest I threw a fit. I really don’t like prom, and all the junk that happens there. My wife overruled me. The daughter went alone. The other girls have gone to the Prom, too, but the behavior of some of the dancers, the partiers, and those who are just plain immature turns them off. They know that the life at the Prom is a sham. It‘s not real life and the real thing is better.

They’ve experienced great friendships with other guys. They grew up with a couple of families with lots of boys. They have great cousins who modeled good healthy behavior. They understood the difference between showing off and trying to be authentic no matter the cost to their popularity. I have said so many times, “Learn how to be friends. Your husband/wife is your best friend. Go out in groups. Guys and good conversation generally matures about age 25!”

The other day, at last count, I now have two daughters who seem to have found that friend. My new reality is different from teaching or helping to control impulses. Now, I sit outside the stadium of love, and trust that the game going on inside has two champions, two heroes, and God is at work to make two teams one. I can’t say I’m not afraid. These are scary times. God help the USA, but God definitely help in the biggest game of life for my two daughters!

Canada is NOT “The United States of Canada”

When I crossed into Canada with my new bride 26 years ago I told her to notice that clothing, buildings, and even hairstyles are different in Canada. The accent is different. The street signs are in French and Canadian. Both of my parents were Canadians. Most of my relatives live in Canada. We visit every year, but Canada seems odd in so many ways to us Americans.

Canadians seem to relegate themselves to rules and more rules, taxes and more taxes, and cold and more cold. The Toronto Blue Jays just passed a rule to limit warbling during the National Anthems. They said Christina Aguilera sang 8 notes for every 1 written note so that Christina Aguilera became the event! Calgary, Alberta, just passed a law that removed mandatory French classes, but mandated learning German, Mandarin, or French for every student.

I just paid $1.289 for a LITER of gas which is about $4.88/gallon. Sales tax is 13% with food excluded (unlike Tennessee with our 9.5% sales tax on everything). Most people pay income taxes unlike 48% of Americans. Charitable contributions are NOT tax-deductible in Canada.

Yet, violent crime is much less (8x less likely to be murdered). It seems odd to walk through any neighborhood in metro Toronto without looking for gun thugs or rapists! Health is much better, and income is much higher. A starting elementary school teacher’s salary is $44,900.

Canadians can sing both the Canadian National Anthem and the Star Spangled Banner, or at least most of my Canadian friends and relatives can hum the tune of both. Canadians know the USA has 50 states, but Americans don’t know how many provinces are in Canada (9 + 2 territories). Canadians know the name of the President and Vice-President of the US, but Americans don’t know who the Prime Minister is of Canada.

Then, a few years ago someone asked me why Canada has so many fewer gun homicides than the USA. Gun homicides in the US are over eight times higher than in Canada. Several reasons exist which will seem odd to Americans. Canada tightened its gun laws over the past ten years dropping the homicide rate in half. Every gun has to be registered. I own a pellet gun which is not allowed to cross into Canada.

I factor in events from 250 years ago called the Revolutionary War, too. Canada did not rebel against the British. The USA genetically engineered gun ownership into its DNA from that point on in the Second Amendment. We think guns and freedoms go hand in hand. Canadians believe legislation and freedom co-exist nicely (a gross generalization, I know!).

Canada asks God to keep it glorious and free in the Canadian National Anthem, but the first verse of the Star Spangled Banner (our national anthem) does NOT mention God.

Canada is a nation of immigrants. According to the UN about 21% of the population are immigrants.

Canada has sovereign nations within its borders. 630 “First Nations” exist in Canada. Near our Cabin is the Wahta Mohawk territory.

Canadians say, “Ay“, after sentences like Americans say “Ya know?”

Tim Hortons is the coffee and donut place of choice. They only take cash. Two years ago we counted over 30 on Yonge Street from Downtown to the 401. About the same number of Starbucks, too, and double that number of private coffee shops.

Yonge Street at North York Centre (It’s Starting Point)

Housing prices in Toronto have skyrocketed. Condo’s are the housing of choice at this time since finding a house for less than half a million is difficult.When I visit I am identified quickly as an American. Though accepted, I am the oddity. The love-hate relationship with the USA is generally a mild irritation so I have never met a prejudiced Canadian who treated me poorly for being American.

A visit to Canada is worth the price, but be ready for some culture shock. Canada is NOT “The United States of Canada.”

Should You Leave the PCUSA?

Please listen to this interview with two other ministers. Please click HERE on this link to hear the interview. Some are saying the audio is soft so turn up your speakers or wear head phones!

This recording is of two ministers and me discussing the latest vote in the PCUSA. That vote was to remove a clause in the ordination vow for all ministers which included chastity and if married, fidelity. In the late 90′s, some felt it necessary to insert the clause, yet the Bible and standards of conduct for ministers already have this prohibition in them. Some have taken liberty with the removal of the fidelity clause to think it means a reinterpretation of marriage to include homosexuality or to include practicing homosexuals as ordained ministers. We need

A view from the beach toward Lake Huron at Cedar Campus (MI).

to see options at this time since some PCUSA churches and members consider pulling out of their home church or denomination the only option. As we were recording (outdoors, by Lake Huron, on a picnic table) Jon Opgenorth, a minister in the Reformed Church in America, joined us.

Happy 50th!

To the one who keeps telling everyone it is her 50th,

I say, “Keep it a secret. It’ll be a bigger surprise

When no one sees 60 coming your way either!”

The students in Belarus couldn’t believe you were forty–

“Youthful,” they said.

The years are kind to you.

Only one injury nags you,

that darn

touch-your-toes-to-the-side

leap off a porch

when you landed on your tailbone.

I utterly spit on that moment in time.

It haunts you still.

Aside from that the years go softly.

Bravely, weathering, with the old man you married,

advancing against the foes and dangers like Joan of Arc,

singing lullabies in the morning still,

undaunted by the threats of the same old sister or the

three girls you love. Singing on, more than the first line,

the whole dang song to thousands of country western, rock, hymns, and now,

Mark Lowry’s, “Water, Water.”

So, fifty. Nothing beats making it to the mid-century mark,

and with brains and body intact, “Oh my!”.

Your life is weighed in the balance lightly, joyfully,

Spreading joy and hope missing in most at fifty.

Artsy, suprisingness, school girl restart, what more can you do?

Go on, I say. Go on! To one hundred.

Batten down the hatches. Damn the hot dogs.

Go forth with boldness. Your common sense, your Jesus sense,

that righteous, justice, God-ward-going-sense,

emboldened by life’s lessons, and zest,

and that “Je ne sais qua,” to push onward.

May I go with you, adventurous one?

Happy Birthday, to the one whose secret is no more!

Be fifty, boldly, proudly, as I am of you!

Building the Agape Community

Father Ken Thompson, an Episcopal priest, is in his mid-eighties and still leading well. Each month a dozen folks get together at his and Phyl’s (married 64 years) farm outside of Louisville, KY, to celebrate Eucharist in an Agape Meal setting. Agape is the Greek word for “Love” (check 1 Corinthians 11). Within the full meal, Ken and participants focus on Christ within their conversation, and celebrate communion in a non-Episcopalian way. Ken wrote a guide for participants years ago to help others who want to celebrate communion within a New Testament  Agape Meal together. Ken says that the Agape meal celebration is often more “church” than church.

To help get to know each other better, Ken has had the friends in the group hear the life stories of others using one of the ten questions below. I thought I’d share these ideas with you if you are part of a small group yourself. I’ve used two of these questions in my group with fantastic discussion and deeper appreciation of each person in the group. WoW! Isn’t that what we want in the body of Christ? Value/Love/Koinonia? We so take for granted the other people around us, but try one of these the next time you meet (and give enough time for each person to talk long enough).

Ken adds these directions for using the questions:

There are no time limits. Let each person address each question in order with opportunity to inquire, share and better get-to-know. Answers should be treated with confidentiality.

1. What is/are your nickname(s) and why?
2. Where did your family of origin live, and what was the family composition?
3. What has been your employment that we may not know about?
4. What are your hobbies, and what are your talents?
5. What did you want to be when you were little?
6. In what ways would you like to grow spiritually?
7. What is your Faith Story?
8. What do we need to know if we are to best understand you?
9. Other than Jesus and your spouse, what person has had the most influence on who you are?
10. What was the best advice ever given you? By whom?

If you have found a different question helpful in your small group, please share it in the comment section or email me!

Dave’s Killer Running Schedule for 50ish’s

From my friend Dave’s athletic storehouse of wisdom…

“As with many things in life, consistency, devotion, and doing the work is key to success. The law of the harvest. It’s roughly a plan that I got from Runnersworld many years ago. I’ve used it a number of times with success.

“Take it easy as you get back into running.

“I always follow a plan like this as I comeback after a long layoff:

go for 30-40 minutes, always warmup and stretch, 3 runs a week, always a day rest

week 1    run 1min, walk 3 min (8 times)

week 2    r 2, w 2

week 3     r 3, w 2

week 4    r 4, w 2

week 5    r5 w1.5

week 6    r6  w 1.5

week 7    r7 w1

week 8    r8 w1

week 9    r10 w1

week 10    r15 w1

week 11    all run

“I keep a training log on a small calendar to keep myself disciplined in the approach.

Lean Mean Fightin’ Machine…Dave “Face” Hodson

Pray for Obama

A good friend had a prophetic revelation I’d like to share with you. Geoff is a writer, father, husband, Jesus follower, and an amazingly humble, straight shooter. I really resonated with what Geoff saw and wrote. Geoff has given me permission to share with you.
————–
PRAY FOR OBAMA’S STRENGTH? YES, AND HERE’S WHY

By Geoff Stunkard

Since the election of 2008, which greatly disappointed me politically, I have been led and directed by God to pray for Barack Obama’s strength. As a staunchly pro-life, life-long social issues conservative (who normally votes Republican), I found this to be, frankly, repugnant to my sympathies; people who know me personally will tell you that this would never have been my fleshly orientation. I had never given George Bush anything but foxhole-type prayers, so why would I expend more energy doing the same for a man who seems to represent all that I dislike about that American political philosophy.
I began seeking God for a reason, and in my mind, recently received a brief vision of Jesus coming to me broken and bloody, his creeks ravaged from his beard being ripped away, but with his eyes full of love. I cried out to him, ‘Lord, who did this to you? How could this have happened?’ He replied gently, ‘I love them, so I let them do this to me.’ He had let his enemies abuse, torture and eventual kill him, yet did so out of pure love, not by their force or a sense of martyrdom; the glory of the cross was and is that very same love. This love is what it took to break the power that held all of us in slavery to sin and death.

Four Marks of Relational Faithfulness and Results

Four Marks of Relational Faithfulness
1.    Willing to work out differences even when emotions are in hyper drive
⁃    Staying power through thick and thin
⁃    Willing to listen, clarify, compromise, believe
⁃    Looks for potential not cracks
2.    Positive Consistency in behavior
⁃    Pleasant or cordial demeanor
⁃    Keeps commitments
⁃    Answer emails, phone messages, texts, Facebook messages promptly (usually within 24 hours)
3.    Shows fondness (appropriate), attachment and desire to be a friend
⁃    Uses name, nickname or term of endearment (even “Buddy”)
⁃    Initiates or invites into activities, conversation and personal life details
⁃    Supports and does not tear down especially when not together, i.e. gossip, slander or trash-talk
⁃    Asks questions about your life and feelings
⁃    Gives gifts without strings attached
4.    Sensitive to boundaries of familiarity, family finances and time constraints.
⁃    Does not ask inappropriate questions without your permission
⁃    Is not offended if you have other commitments
⁃    Does not make money, children, grandchildren, employment or things a competitive issue

Results:
1.    Positive energy poured into your life through mutual support, love, anti-loneliness, ego boosts, spiritual growth
2.    Expect bumps, bruises and Hurts via disappointments, misunderstandings, rejection
3.    Integrated and improved positive character traits, integration of personality and emotional expression, loyalty, outward selflessness, grace giving and receiving
4.    Spiritual Growth: expanded sense of being (ontological), trust in others increases and trust in God flows more freely and love becomes the highest life principle.

To Do:
1.    Set a precedence to never leave an email or voice mail unopened or unreplied by the end of the day. At the least, send a reply stating you will get back to them. Delete advertising or bulk mail emails. The average email left in your inbox gets looked at 10 times! Get a filing system for emails such as folders for friends, family, community groups, different aspects of your work, humorous forwards, etc.
2.    Understand that every relationship hits snags and difficulties. Don’t assume that the other person understands this or understands that you feel a snag. Talking it through is the only way to reach this understanding. If you need active listening training to maximize your understanding of each other’s issues find a book or visit a website on Active Listening Skills.
3.    Fear of rejection drives many people from establishing deeper relationships. Many people think that if the other person

Milepost 010210

I’m linking my blog in Feedburner so that when I publish a blog post, it will tweet a link to that blog post. Here’s how to do it:
1. Log in to http://feedburner.google.com/ and click on your blog’s feed.
2. Click on the “Publicize” tab and then the “Socialize” service on the left.
3. Add your Twitter account and select the options you want.

Steve Reeths, one of my best friends from Middle School and High School, recently reconnected with me on Facebook after 34 years apart. He’s a musician and has had a band with his wife for years. He’s coming to Johnson City this summer, June 22, to play for the city. Check out their site here.

Theology is often made up for the wrong reasons or regurgitated. The study of scripture alone to know God and to be freed from the need to be imprisoned by our desires and pride is rare. I’ve contended that the gospel is at the core of all theology or the theology is skewed. Yet, most people cannot explain the gospel with confidence, both believers and unbelievers. Believe, me unbelievers have a theology. Just ask someone what God can or cannot do! Thus, we get a ton of very bad theology or at best, theology that is confusing. Why is it confusing? People who “theologize” make statements apart from the center of the Christian message in order to be puffed up or to part ways. What is the center of the gospel? If you have to click here you probably don’t know, but click here anyway to check yourself.